nickolas cage
 

• nic cage is onanist traffic cop "one hand directing traffic, the other down his pants"

• nic cage stars in three days in a cleveland timeshare, the sequel to last year's 48 hours in an akron hostel, which is itself a reboot of the cult classic 2 1/2 hours in a tijuana sauna

• nic cage stars as a las vegas leaf blower in leafing las vegas

• nic cage stars in the social media horror pic unfriended!, sequel to last summer's hit the unfollowers

• nic cage is the circumcision reverser. "think very carefully about what you do next"

• nic cage wears the years like tire tracks over his ruined face in twelve habits worth dying for

• nic cage stars as the exceptionally clumsy cowboy wyatt derp

• nic cage cannot resist the rhythm in the people who danced themselves to death

• nic cage plays reclusive tech genius recumbite smiteman in nude inside my jetpack

• nic cage will leave you speechless as the flabbergasterer​

• nic cage is balls deep in macaroons
  nicholas cage thrizzles in the epic biopic the life and times of bixby spires

• nic cage stars in the infamous kitchen trilogy of madcap comedy films:

  • a famous chef is committed for insanity in too many kooks in the kitchen

  • a groundbreaking cook on the frontlines in vietnam struggles to perfect his art in too many gooks in the kitchen

  • a cia agent goes deep undercover  behind the iron curtain as a cook to dictators in too many spooks in the kitchen

• nic cage stars in nosebleed: the musical

• nicholas cage stars in one less jester, directed by swedish auteur ernst von ruffian

• nic cage is a witness to the injustice of it all in the gamefication of ditty sanchez

• nic cage is as inscrutable as ever in the abstract pyschological study chests are not ashtrays, barbara

• nic cage plays a neurotic who requires papal dispensation before he can defecate. he has the pope on speed dial.

• nic cage suffers through two hours of the sneezy ventriloquist, the sequel to last year's the itchy tightrope walker

• nic cage stars in the two-fisted revenge tale one less bastard

• nic cage plays horst el yobbo in a tale of lax personal grooming titled that grow-together eyebrow guy

• nic cage stars in hold my beer: a tale of magic and loss. the sequel to last year's arthouse hit cool story, bro.

• nic cage stars in the ultimate early 90's pop-culture mashup: drop dead right said fred

• nic cage soft shoes it in give my regards to off-off broadway

• nic cage plays a narcoleptic at a dance marathon in bop ‘til you drop

• nic cage stars in the sizzling fast food exposé wmd: weapons of mass digestion

• nic cage plays a down-on-his luck ventriloquist who begins performing with a voodoo doll to wreak revenge on hecklers in the turgid thriller heckle me if you dare

• nic cage steps behind the lens as the director of a new teen comedy-horror franchise:

  • i know that you know that i know what you did last summer

  • i know what you tweeted then deleted last summer

  • who cares what you did last summer

  • i forgot what you did last summer

  • i know who you did last summer

  • i know you didn't do shit last summer

  • not even you know what you did last summer

  • google knows what you did last summer

• nic cage stars in the life and times of chinchilla swoop

• nic cage and jennifer lopez 2.0 star in the romcom this robot's getting married. "the bot's nocturnal emissions are untraceable"

• nic cage stars as a filthy cop in reprehensible vice

• nic cage plays the partner of a vigilante baby cop in dirty diaper harry

• nic cage plays tap dancing gangster dutch oven in gangway for crime!

• nic cage stars with dwayne 'the rock' johnson and john cena in a two and half men reboot about two wrestlers and a eunuch who live together

• nic cage stars as a tube of crest toothpaste in the live-action dental hygiene thriller cavity creeps!

• nic cage stars as pioneering mime hell's angel tweaker mcfreaksauce, who ushered in the era of mime inclusivity into criminal gangs

• nic cage and selena gomez star in the passive-aggressive adventures of buck winsome and raven gravystomp

• nic cage gets himself cancelled faster than he can blink in no country for unwoke old men

• nic cage co-stars in the gonzo mid-life crisis comedy men behaving baldly

• nic cage plays a horny vampire in the indie film who we do in the shadows

• nic cage stars with shaftbury twerkwood and courtney adriatic in the cautionary thriller the people who googled themsevles to death

• nicholas cage stars in the barren fantasy world of diamond wendigo druthers "even his dreams were vacant"

• nic cage stars in the insane clown posse's first feature film, just a juggalo

• nic cage thinks that maybe he just might in the 107 year old virgin

• nic cage as both harold and maude  in the acclaimed remake of harold & maude

• nic cage plays a homesteading drug dealer in 40 acres and a drug mule

• nic cage is guilty of unforgivable cultural appropriation as the writer, director, and co-star of the hawaiian cowboy comedy the three coconut amigos

• nic cage stars in his first tv show, the augustinian police procedural brother gulp

• nic cage is painfully out of the step with the times in no country for gendered old men

• nic cage stars in the star wars/american pie mashup surprise summer hit d.i.l.f. (droid i'd like to f*ck)

• nic cage is erneso "lovertits" huffington in expensive shit: confessions of a cia blogger 

• nic cage stars in the shakespearean stoner comedy rosencrantz and gildenstern are deadheads

• nic cage hoists up his rucksack and leaves the lillypad behind in the ballad of humpity flyback, trouble hoppin' frog

• stand back 'cuz nic cage is packing the belvedere ass cannon

• nichloas cage plays the wise father in old yellen, the classic coming-of-age story about a boy and his economist

• nic cage wreaks havoc on dinner party etiquette in the affrontery of monsignor duck

• nic cage is the gap-toothed assassin, sequel to the bug-eyed necromancer

• nic cage stars as a hard-bitten marine in the ww2 epic heaven knows hell can wait

• nicholas cage stars as time traveling astronaut carter jepsen in the sci-fi mind bender the man who shat time, sequel to the man who apologized for tomorrow

• nic cage directs the straight to video dark sex comedy celebrity hex tape, starring paris hilton 2.0

• nic cage and sacha baron cohen lay waste to good taste in the borat-themed adaptation of the vagina monologues, called the vagine monologoues (very nice!)

• nic cage defies type in entitled manchild: the musical

• nic cage plays a professional photo editor whose retouching steals the soul of his subjects in the photoshop terror

• nic cage stars as a harried suburban breadwinner in the despairing comedy late for work "i can't find my keys!"

• nic cage stars alongside eddie murphy in the comedy oswald herringbone: animal divorce lawyer

• nic cage is at his wits end in the everyday misery of dating sasquatch

• nic cage plays blammo the butler, who moonlights as a private eye hot on the trail of the unibrow bomber

• nic cage considers the possbilities in my legs are made of splendid jelly

• nicholas cage plays a man cursed with the ability to see the future in spoiler alert!

• nic cage is detective harry paganini, hot on the trail of archvillain r. jackson prunty in the sandwich thief

• nic cage and renne zellweger struggle to make the best of bad situation in the raunchy rom com bridget jones's diarrhea

• nic cage courts cancel culture in the ill-advised buddy comedy white boy summer

• nic cage is at his wit's end as the hapless father of a sociopathic child in dennis the online menace 

• nic cage squares off against a gang of violent nuns in the road rage thriller bad habits

• nic cage is the plainclothes cosplay detective

• nice cage brings the retail funk as uptown junior sales associate

• this christmas, nic cage is leaving your present under the zoom tree in work from home santa claus

• nic cage stars in the life and times of gordon pennycock

• nic cage figures it all out in a flash in revelation at burning man

• nic cage's career takes a turn for the worse in the straight-to-video flop the adventures of rat boy and hat girl

• nic cage encounters terror without peer in accosted by wolves "they jostled me unnecessarily"

• nic cage plays a stay-at-home priest in the supernatural thriller the textorcist

• nic cage cries "fake news!" in conservative american dumbass: the movie

• nic cage stars as a pyschic hairdresser in women on the verge of a binomial shakedown

• nic cage is doctor jib jabs "this may sting a little"

• nic cage lights up the screen in his 11-second spot as panicked extra #7

• nic cage makes it seem so effortless in bedridden lothario: part iv

• nicholas cage does whatever it takes in grandad's sugardaddy

• nicholas cage stars in the erudite bodice ripper librarians on horseback

• nic cage breaks all the rules in the gonzo new drama bubble violator

• nicholas cage plays maverick detective frank shamrock in the gritty crime drama vigilance exceeded

• nicholas cage stars in shittalkers, about a squad of gossipy navajo indians in wwii who help defeat the japanese through vicious rumor and innuendo

• nic cage stars in the world's first twitter horror movie: "ma'am, we've traced the i.p. code. the tweets are coming from inside the house. get out now!"

• nic cage and shia laqueef team up as vigilante cops hot on the trail of an 

• nic cage is the animal cracker whisperer

• nic cage stars in dead man splaining

• nicholas cage is the man who rick rolled himself to death

• nic cage sees trouble ahead in the supernatural personal grooming thriller hell toupee

• nic cage plays a germophobic summer camp counselor in cootie camp

• nicholas cage breaks it down for us in the correct use of candy

• nic cage stars in grandad and the octopus: a choose your own adventure

• nic cage plays a mentally unstable cop who places evidence at crime scenes to make it look like the work of killer clowns

• nic cage plays a shoe salesman battling ptsd in the hurt foot locker

• nice cage is hobocop

• nic cage stars in rooster vs cop

• nic cage is consigned to a life of indentured servitude, working in the salt mines of beverly hills

• nic cage is the truly incompetent detective. "he couldn't solve a case to save his life."

• nic cage slowly loses it in eight go mad in arizona

• nic cage stars in the ghoulish sex comedy mating habits of the recently deceased

• nicholas cage plays a catholic priest who performs exorcisms via text message in the textorcist

• nic cage tanks his career in the exquisitely awful espionage sex comedy code wankers

• nic cage stars in the dystopic body horror scifi thriller the botticelli protocol

• nic cage and pauline fodderstompf enjoy a life of unimpeded crime in the adventures of teddy january and harriett papsmear

• nic cage is arthur thuggish: feckless playboy from the fourth dimension

• nicholas cage puts up his dukes in the rowdy drama fistfight in the food court

• nicholas cage is a study in contrasts in memoirs of a buddhist pugilist

• nic cage and praxely cavendish light up your digit spool in the subversive new comedy boil me gently, directed by acclaimed snuff feed auteur ernst ruffian

• nicholas cage singlehandly destroys both his and johnny depp's careers by directing a series of ill-advised edward scissorhands sequels: edward triscuithands, edward covidtoes, edward jazzhands

• nicholas cage directs matthew mcconaughey in confessions of a used thong salesman

• nic cage shines on the silver screen as the cotton candy dandy

• nic cage and william dafoe are a study in opposites in testicals:tarantulas, directed by lars von trier

• nicholas cage stars in ode to a raytheon high speed anti-radiation missile

• nicholas cage and tazmin ouththwaite star in owl boy and mango girl

• nicholas cage is the maestro of molasses

• nic cage stars in the gothic western the besmircher and the besmirched

• nicholas cage stars in the inscrutable sci-fi puzzler zero hour: hot space station justice

• nic cage plays elmer fudd as a white suburban racist in the hilariously offensive looney tunes cartoon twiggaaad

• nic cage is the maestro of misogyny as eddy "blue skies" cannonball

• nic cage takes it to the edge in cupping the devil's balls

• nicholas cage plays a hard-bitten detective with an inner ear disorder in diagonal justice

• nic cage and owen wilson are rival bad-boy bartenders in jamaica jax

• nicholas cage encounters impossibly strange creatures in the dindlewalters of twat

• nice cage wheezes his way through the cohen brothers classic no country for flatulent old men

• nic cage plays time traveler pistachio gilbert in the ice cream store at the edge of forever

• nic cage stars in the tense bio thriller man sneezes on self, others

• nicholas cage wears the face that ended 1,000 tomorrows

• nic cage stars in confessions of a semi-nude window washer "oh, the things he's seen"

• nic cage plays a delusional pimp in pookie's gambit

• nic cage is porn impresario benzadryl tubefist in the afterlife comedy is there pornography in heaven?

• nic cage is strong female lead #3 (uncredited)

• nicholas cage is the man who refused to freeze to death

• nic cage plays in hindu cross dresser in sari not sari

• nic cage leads a motley ensemble of b-list actors in ocean's 7-eleven, a not-quite-edge-of-your-seat heist caper about stealing the last bahama mama and spicy bean burrito from a las vegas 7-eleven

• nic cage is bumbling detective franklin pepperjack in the oddly sandwich-centric buddy cop flick ham on rye with a side of justice

• nicholas cage is oddswain boatminder, world's first mime politician

• nic cage plays a bored atmospheric scientist in no particulate place to go

• nicholas cage plays a cromagnon priest in man of the loincloth

• nicholas cage takes a star turn as donald rumsfeld in the known unknown

• nicholas cage stars in attack of the shit talking shape shifters

• nicholas cage and constance greengrass are the soprano cops. "you can't escape the long aria of the law."

• nic cage steps out in his broadway debut american mucus: the musical

• nic cage and seth rogan star in the scatolgocial cop show dung police 

• nicholas cage guest stars as the fonz on the woefully short-lived happy days spinoff joanie loves tchotchke, about a shut-in and her love of collecting useless miscellaneous objects

• nicholas cage plays oscar the grouch in a dystopic reboot of sesame street set in a post-climate change hellscape that is new york city. called simply street. "the whole world is his garbage can."

• nicholas cage plays a semi-nude orchestra conductor who breaks down the barriers for other semi-nude musicians in boston bethonged pops

• nicholas cage stars alongside a plucky menagerie of classically trained barnyard animals in no country for old hens

• nic cage gets his kicks from beyond the grave in dead man wanking

• nic cage is alonzo garbanzo: doctor cop

• nicholas cage is the happy go lucky misadventure capitalist. "he'll invest in anything!"

• nic cage plays the manager of the world's first all-drone synth pop group in the rockumentary this is hover bots

• nic cage is hyperion veracruz, the instagram whisperer. "see him gently cajole the metrics in his favor."

• nicholas cage plays kim jong un's wild and crazy cousin in pyongyang dance party!

• nic cage plays an accomplice to a fast-food criminal mastermind in hamburglar helper

• nichloas cage stars as the slightly effeminate savior of germany's jewish citizens in the epic wartime drama schindler's lisp

• nicholas cage stars as an obsessive completionist in from a-z and back again

• nicholas cage is the crazysitter. "why hire a babysitter to watch your kids when you can hire a 50 year old man who lives in his van?"

• nicholas cage is frank catharsis: virtue-signalling cop. "keeping the streets safe and making sure you know that he recycles."

• nicholas cage takes the stage as lead in the world's first zombie musical, songs in the key of z

• nicholas cage stars as count chocula in cereal: the movie

• nicholas cage plays a life coach who specializes in treating superheroes in the self-actualizing avenger

• nicholas cage plays environmentalist teddy sequoia in the eco-vigilante rom com a frond farewell

• nicholas cage plays the owner of a time-travelling chihuahua in bark to the future

• nicholas cage throws safety to the wind in defenestration: a comic tragedy in one act

• nicholas cage stars in the all ages eco shocker when animal crackers attack

• nic cage is the deity with zero fucks to give in the gods must be lazy

• nic cage installs himself way upside your sweltercoil in the bizarre new digit spool comedy renaldo and the loaf

• nic cage plays a talentless cgi artist in not-so-special effects

• nicholas cage is cowboy-hatted neophyte garth recumbite in the mansplainer of mariner bay

• nic cage plays a gossipy navajo indian who helps to demoralize the german army in the wwii epic shit talkers

• nic cage is trapped on an abandoned russian space station that smells of stale spunk in спунк статион

• nicholas cage plays a smooth talking vegan con artist in phony baloney

• "justice wears a mask." nic cage is frank justice, comedia dell'arte cop

• nic cage plays legs 'sluggo' duggan in this poolboy's gone to heaven

• nicholas cage lends his voice to the foul-mouthed reboot of a cartoon classic, who cockblocked roger rabbit?

• nicholas cage makes an ass of himself as rooty toot, the honkin' stonkin' donkey

• nic cage is the laptop lothario. "his online profile was the stuff of legend."

• nice cage is a one-man surrealist force multiplier in when moxley came to dinner

• nic cage asks life what it's all about in a toe ring for artemis

• nicholas cage is the maestro of innocuous gabblesquander in the man who talked himself to death

• nic cage is bartleby 'banana balls' jackson in high-fidelity corpse

• nic cage and drexel ratch paint the town red as loose cannon cops in bullethead and cactusbrain

• bonk on the head productions presents nicholas cage as a shady disinformation broker in thwarted!

• blink and you'll miss nic cage's uncredited cameo as partially submerged midget #4

• nic cage claps back and clapping back as the social media assassin

• nic cage plays a dude who cant keep it together in spasmodioid

• nic cage stars in a fortnight with henry kissinger

• nic cage plays a needlessly hostile theater critic in a litany of infinite vulgarities

• nic cage plays a vigilante barber in sideburn, interrupted

• nic cage is pushing his luck in the danger-filled one heartbeat away from death

• nic cage is the velvet fool encased in fog. a film so enigmatic not even the director knows what it’s about.

• nic cage commits career suicide in the inscrutably ill-advised brining with sally

• nic cage stars in the pop psychology pisser the seven habits of highly premature people

• nic cage is roped and trussed in my dear betty page

• nic cage is post-toasty to the bitter, you dig?

• nicholas cage averts his gaze in the medusa protocol

• nic cage stars in the sex romp of questionable taste yours in lusty impermanence

• nic cage stars in the terrifying social media psychodrama unfriended!

• nic cage is the flummoxer. "you'll be at a loss for words."

• nicholas cage falls on hard times and takes a bit part as celebrity chef hopeful #6

• nicholas cage as slotkin querrels, the put-upon antiques dealer in singapore

• nicholas cage plays a man who suffers from a rare medical disability. he is the man who could not understand emoticons. “witness one man’s shocking journey into hell. If you dare.”

• acclaimed snuff auteur ernst von ruffian directs nic cage and anastasia fiercely in the bold new dom-com restraining order

• nic cage mixes up memes and magic in the fantasy thriller his dank materials

• nicholas cage is the accidental president. "he ran on a whim and now the future of a nation is in his hands."

• nic cage stars as chad veracruz in hole at the bottom of the world

• nicholas cage is mondo st. swithins, the diplomat who triggers an international incident in confessions of a semi-nude cannibal career diplomat

• nicholas cage has no more fucks to give in the tense psychodrama my fucks they lie fallow

• nicholas cage stars in the unsettling family drama incident on a tree-lined street

• nic cage gives as good as he gets as a truculent sherpa in fistfight on everest

• nic cage teams up with ben stiller in the domestic western comedy meet the outlaw in-laws

• nic cage confounds all expectations in the gloamers of watt

• nicholas cage is just an indistinct green red smear on your windshield in this bug's life

• nic cage rubs one out in the workplace sex romp corporate friction, the sequel to last year's sleeper hit cubicle fapper

• nicholas cage asks the age-old question: how many ticks does it take to make a tock?

• nicholas cage explores the hidden life of a famous children's writer in hans christine andersen

• nic cage plays bootlegger pappy 'pickles' lookadoo in the prohibition-era comedy speakeasy follies

• nicholas cage is the lopsided comedian. "even his punchlines are crooked"

• nic cage stars as carlton cabbageminder in the septic tank of destiny

• nic cage phones it in as buckles arborghast in confessions of an unmotivated clown

• nic cage is masked vigilante guiseppe 'tomahawk' jackson, the italian street urchin raised by najavo indians, who patrols the mean streets of 19th century new york

• nicholas cage stars in gravy tiger. a p jackson prunty production.

• nic cage directs the confused fairy tale reboot hansel and gretel and owen wilson

• nicholas cage stars in the sleeper comedy hit my pal fingerhut

• nic cage is a tracker of ghouls and creeps who feels the wrath of the blood bitch

• nic cage plays harvey weinstein in a series of not-so-great choices

• nic cage finds pathos in surprising places in the emo docudrama fat kid eating popsicle at the state fair

• nic cage hacks, tugs, and chops to mixed results in greetings from a 4th-rate plastic surgeon

• nicholas cage stars in ignatius at the movies. "see him recoil in disgust and self-hating pleasure at the hedonistic cavorting of today's young people!"

• nic cage has his wires crossed as tarrington jolly: virtue-signalling white supremacist

• nicholas cage can't cough up the required coin in the dystopic shocker the birth tax

• nicholas cage scrambles to avert catastrophe in the track suit that ate ohio

• nicholas cage breaks all the rules of decency as the nose picking pickpocket

• nicholas cage is arthur "kissyface" jackson in a tale of two dendrites

• nicholas cage plays a benevolent necromancer in the spooky comedy miss mackenzie and the dark arts

• nicholas cage will leave you flummoxed in the latest word-salad rom com gowomble polylog. co-starring drew barrymore 2.0.

• nichloas cage stars as uncredited midget #3

• nicholas cage plays a lovelorn effects specialist in the gonzo tech comedy cgi girlfriend

• nicholas cage turns horror on its head in the abdominal doctor vibes

• nicholas cage plays legless salsa instructor equivel embarkadero in the life-affirming bio pic viva!

• nicholas cage makes a mockery of nature as the blueberry duck

• nicholas cage plays a confused sage in the headscratcher if you can't say something positive, say something equivocal

• nicholas cage makes a mockery of christmas in the ill-advised comedy lap dance in santa's lap

• nicholas cage embraces near total irrelevance in journal of the most unnecessary man who ever lived

• nicholas cage struggles to adjust to a changing world in adios, white privilege!

• nicholas cage encounters a special kind of hell in land of the mismatched socks

• nicholas cage will have you doubting everything in confessions of a hazy post-regression tester

• nicholas cage is spotswood houndthrush: woke weatherman. "73% chance of gender-neutral snow tomorrow."

• nicholas cage is xtreme porn star bosco "money nuts" mcgooch in sextuplet action in tangiers

• nicholas cage plays a besotted strip club patron in the song of the bejeweled thong

• nicholas cage pulls his punches in notes from an ersatz pugalist

• nicholas cage plays a schizophrenic police detective who goes undercover as a police detective in for whom, memory?

• nicholas cage in the role of a lifetime: he plays the memory of a rastafarian conquistador in a silent black & white gangster film, directed by acclaimed auteur ernst von ruffian

• nicholas cage defies all the rules of decency in the shocker lapd officer caught fondling corpse

• nicholas cage is the felon formerly known as frank crushmore in when chaos comes knocking

• nicholas cage stars as bronzo mcguffin in the dudebro sex romp carnivale jizzers. "set sail for sexventure!"

• nicholas cage plays a con man who suffers from imposter syndrome in who, me?

• nicholas cage stars in the sci-fi mind bender the salination plant at the edge of tomorrow

• nicholas cage stars in semi-nude disturbance in a portland bike shop

• nicholas cage stars in the bold new musical toe-to-toe with kevin spacey

• nicholas cage will bring tears to your eyes in the poignant classic social media cancellation of a salesman

• nicholas cage spends seven hours in the trunk of a chevy impala in the tense new thriller the flummoxer.

• nicholas cage stars as a bartender who knows no limits in hard pour

• nicholas cage is the table whisperer. "he never met a table he could not domesticate."

• nicholas cage is just bumming a smoke as mineral charlie

• nicholas cage wreaks havoc in the time-traveling porn escapade a connecticut asshat in king arthur's bed

• nicholas cage is chauncey von papule in the scent imposter

• nicholas cage stars in the noirish sleeper elegy for a neglected houseplant

• nicholas cage stars in the social zombie flick night of the living canceled dead

• nicholas cage plays an online journalist on the wrong side of the prevailing ethos in you've been canceled

• nicholas cage learns to detest his own body in the gonzo medical comedy dragging this leaky anus all over town

• nicholas cage is lone survivor #7

• nicholas cage stars in the tense workplace thriller incident in a 3rd floor lavatory

• nicholas cage stars in the taut psychological thriller the clown tweets at midnight

• there's something to offend everyone when nicholas cage takes the stage in nuremberg: the musical

• nic cage is checkers 'wet spot' mcgooch in if this hamburger had ears. "see it if you dare."

• nicholas cage is the trundle bunger

• nicholas cage is a brand ambassador to the dead in necro influencer

• nicholas cage stars in the absurdist rom com making love to a monkey with a vampire on my knee

• nicholas cage is captain woke. a mild-mannered queer studies professor is struck by a fragment of a comet and undergoes a stunning transformation..."did someone just a marginalize a minority? not on my watch!"

• nichloas cage is marvel's newest superhero: mimeman. "justice is silent"

• nicholas cage is the vegan vigilante. "meat eaters, your time is up."

• nicholas cage plays lusty farmer jim in the barnyard sex comedy heavy petting

• nicholas cage plunges a quaint southern town into chaos in attack of the falsettoed nitwit

• nicholas cage is the trans opportunist for hire. "i'm trans whatever-you-want-me-to-be. hire me to lend authenticity and diversity to your next corporate or social event. i question my own identity, so you won't have to!"

• nicholas cage plays a flamenco dancer who can't stop turning invisible in aye soy demasiado blanco!

• nicholas cage stars as a thief of dilapidated busted cars in need for torpor

• nicholas cage plays a harried ad man in the retro comedy clear my calendar, it's raining babies

• nicholas cage will have you in tears in the secret life of cranbose earberry

• nicholas cage is the underwater underwriter

• nicholas cage steps out as the transgender fetus in waiting

• nicholas cage plays titan thrushmore, an it guy whose beard solves crimes while he sleeps

• ​nicholas cage plays reginald "kimono" jackson, the action star who wears a kimono in every fight scene

• nicholas cage gives a towering performance in 9/11: the musical

• nicholas cage plays a ceo who lives paycheck to paycheck in shareholder, can you spare a dime?

• nichloas cage is the industrialist with a grudge in schindler's shit list

• nicholas cage is a satanic wig maker in hell toupee

• blink and you'll miss nicholas cage as he appears in requiem for a bit part actor

• nicholas cage plays boba fett in a star wars christmas carol

• nicholas cage is a diarrhetic rapper in poop doggy dog

• nicholas cage takes an ill-advised turn as an emo poet addicted to alliteration in the mumblecore film tanner took a tan shit on a tin roof

• nicholas cage picks a winner as the booger whisperer

• nicholas cage is a crossdressing singaporian cardshark in luck, be a ladyboy tonight

• nicholas cage soons regrets his purchase choice in the laugh out loud comedy mail-order merkin

• nicholas cage solves no crimes and apprehends no bad guys as inaction jackson

• nicholas cage stars as an unpurchased christmas toy in the unsettlingly static holiday movie elf on the shelf

• nicholas cage mashes it up in nightmare before christmas on elm street

• nicholas cage stars as a hard-charging ww2 tibetan army sergeant in band of buddhas

• nicholas cage stars in the victorian comedy of manners pimp and circumstance 

• nicholas cage plays a writer who plagarizes from himself in i, accuse!

• nicholas cage stars in the caligula protocol

• nicholas cage phones it in in confessions of an uninspired session drummer

• nicholas cage is yoinks mcginty: cultural appropriater for hire. with a trunk full of ethnic wigs and attire he can don at a moment's notice, and an expansive repertoire of mannerisms and dialects, he's your best choice for pissing people off

• nicolas cage plays a german financial analyst who moonlights as a rapper in marky deutsche mark

• nicolas cage plays hannibal lecter in the surprise hit rom com get out of my car and into my fridge

• nicholas cage asks "are we hole?" in the award-winning memoirs of a donut

• nicholas cage in role of a lifetime: perturbed man in american sports car. directed by john woo

• nicholas cage is a modern-day don knotts in mister higgledy jiggledy pants

• nicholas cage plays surrealist marriage counselor octavio lionsilver in intimacy through absurdity

• nicholas cage in the role of a lifetime: partially smoked cigarette butt tossed in alley of nondescript major metropolitan city. directed by jim jarmusch

• nicholas cage is a government censor in the shawshank redaction

• nicholas cage  stars in unsolicited sexual advice from a well-meaning stranger. "pray he doesn't sit beside you on the subway"

• nicholas cage plays dual roles in the action epic caligula vs space ghost

• nicholas cage is jack dracula: lackadasical jihadist

• nicholas cage is doctor-professor bastard

• nicholas cage as horst flambeau in the womb sifter "a motion picture so shocking, you'll need to see it twice."

• nicholas cage plays a man whose power is such that when he mistypes the date, the entire planet is suddenly pulled through time to arrive at that time

• nic cage makes his directorial debut. jack white and jack black are fused in an experiment gone awry in jack grey: crazy science. 

• nicholas cage plays val tinterhosen, a virtuoso concert pianist who deliberately flubs the final note of each piece, to deny audiences a sense of closure, in the psychological thriller finale, interrupted 

• nicholas page stars as artemis foxbath: the man who would be queen

• nicholas cage stars as baby joop joop, the transgender gorilla

• nicholas cage in the uproarious new comedy waiter, there's a cisqueer fly in my soup

• nicholas cage as lartch lavendercoil in softly, with the nitrates

• nicholas cage plays prax sanctum in the dimwhit who shat rainbows

• nicholas cage plays nude explorer perth pattinson in unncessary exposure. part one: perth journies to antarctica wearing only an athletic cup.

• nicholas cage stars in the horror film for our time: mobile app with a grudge

• this summer, nicholas cage wants you to pay to watch paint dry in caulking with richard

• a wacky science movie called invisible stripper, starring nic cage

• nicholas cage plays ternigut foulmore in the transgender prailine slicer. "the most unwelcoming film of the summer" cautions yankee bastard.

• nicholas cage stars as a demonic strip club owner in satan's libido

• nicholas cage plays a white rapper who tangles with the yakuza in a new film by ridley scott: gaijin wigger. co-starring vanilla ice

• nicholas cage guest stars on the comedy central smash comedians in cars getting blowjobs from dwarves

• nicholas cage plays a homicidal nurse in bloodbath at the bloodbank!

• nicholas cage is the dalai lama hitman. "nirvana comes strapping dual 9mms"

• nicholas cage is the wage rat. "but who gets the cheese?"

• nicholas cage vs the donut mystery bot

• nicholas cage as horst el yobbo in the fondleswelterer

• nicholas cage has got that asexual feeling. "and when i get that feeling, I want an asexual healing. mmm that's right. asexual healing so good for me. talkin' about asexual healing."

• nicholas cage stars in eat, pray, love, micturate. "find yourself. relieve yourself."

• nicholas cage terrorizes a city as the chicago typewriter

• nicholas cage is the sex golem

• nicholas cage plays an aging glam rocker struggling to survive the era of #metoo in ziggy stardust and the sexual assault allegations from mars

• nicholas cage stars in the cannibal sex comedy eat your heart out

• nicholas cage plays crazweiler ditzman, the put-upon croquet instructor. "a comedy of manners and brutality"

• nicholas cage is post-organic fashion impresario cosmo mcswoon in to hell in a hermes handbag

• nicholas cage moves the needle as anastasia foxglove in hot hypo nympho. coming soon to a seedy moving picture parlor near you.

• with a sexual resume that reads like the fbi's most wanted list, octavia mandelbaum is sure to shock as the ryker's island madame. with nicholas cage as a poet prison guard.

• this summer, prepare to possibly rock out with nicholas cage, in rock and roll understudy. "waiting in the wings for his chance at glory, drumstick, guitar, bass, keyboard, tambourine, or microphone in hand. would tonight be the night?"

• this winter, nicholas cage can be found off-off broadway in joseph and the amazing technicolor straightjacket

• nicholas cage is the lobotomy kid. "this brain ain't big enough for the both of us"

• nicholas cage plays monrovia sasquatch, the man who cannot stop defecating into suitcases

• nicholas cage plays a man whose rare medical condition renders him only able to speak in jazz skat vocalese, in zip dipadap zoop doop mumble

• nic cage is the silver-tongued gaijin lothario. "without remorse, he sold dreams to lonely tokyo women."

• the kids at school bullied him…until he had a defensive ink sac surgically inserted into his mouth! nic cage is the squid kid.

• nice cage plays a cop hot on the trail of a murderous divorcee in how stella got her tri-state murder groove back

• nicholas cage plays a henpecked arms dealer in with this rpg, i thee wed

• nicholas cage and garth oleander star in the floodgates of absurdity

• nicholas cage plays ne're-do-well ernst runyon in the lifestyle crisis comedy i only go backwards

• nicholas cage stars as a himalayan sherpa menaced by unseen forces in not yeti! 

• a homicidal chimp named lord bubbles and a paralyzed, telepathic ex-cop team up to solve a series of grisly murders, and soon find themselves embroiled in a web of deceit and corruption that leads straight to city hall. starring drexel ratch and, in the role of a lifetime, nicholas cage as lord bubbles.

• nic cage stars in requiem for a baller

• nicholas cage gets kray-zee in the day trader and the octopus

• nicholas cage and anastasia grinderswitch star in sixteen anal candles

• nicholas cage is creeper oswego gonad in nervy dickslap mamba. "A tale unfit for the telling," writes oink oink.

• nicholas cage defies easy categorization as the deaf activist racist

• nicholas cage is owlboy. "the most underwhelming superhero ever created"

• nicholas cage plays elmo slapwater in the marketing exec who refused to sell out. "an inspiring story of crass credibility in the age of commercial uncertainty."

• nicholas cage is barking homeless man #5 in clear and present fisticuffs

• nicholas cage shuffles through his role as elvis thimblefrond in satan's snuffbox

• nicholas cage mashes it up again in the french lieutenant's woman connection

• nicholas cage and horst barnswallow are gunrunners to the stars. co-starring zoey deschanel

• nicholas cage interrogates white privilege like nobody's business in the probing new socio-comedy honky got woke

• nicholas cage stars in the surrealist horror masterpiece the clown laughs at midnight

• nicholas cage and jack black star as a flatulent adopted native american ww2 codebreakers in the breakout action comedy windbreakers

• nicholas cage stars in kung-fu future cop: no other possibility

• nicholas cage stars as a transgender makeup artist with tourette's syndrome in how tina got her patina back

• nicholas cage stars as a man whose speech is afflicted by analog tape hiss, in noise reduction. filmed in dolby surround

• nicholas cage dresses in drag as prudence goodwife, in the mortgage securities exchange officer with a heart of gold

• nicholas cage plays ernesto millfang, macedonian bodyshamer. coming soon to a disreputable bijou near you

• nicholas cage plays an uncircumcised space captain in the mind-bending sci-fi epic foreskin at the edge of tomorrow

• nicholas cage plays a pez dispenser kingpin in the king of candy

• nicholas cage stars as toby jim. "backwoods boy. backwoods mind." introducing casey sneadlove as big jim.

• nicholas cage plays a man afflicted with a rare medical condition: he cannot purge the name of every three's company guest star from his immediate short-term memory 

• nicholas cage plays the recipient of the world's first asshole transplant, in uncle barky

• nicholas cage stars in jump, loot, shoot. "the movie that asks nothing of its audience."

• nicholas cage in a film by david forrestor wallace: infinite justice. "this post-modern cop will never rest until every modernist has been brought to justice."

• nicholas cage stars as titus andronicus, the junk bond investor with a heart of gold

• nic cage fights the schoolyard bully in destination, nosebleed

• cage and sizemore together in confessions of a one-way interrogation room window. you won't believe the things one of them has seen. the sequel to confessions of a department store changing room mirror.

• nicholas cage plays a turd so big it cannot be flushed, in defiant anaconda

• nicholas cage is nitsy, the world's first transgender fruit fly. co-starring harvey keitel as the bigoted cop who learns acceptance.

• nicholas cage steals the show as an eccentric benefactor in the chauncey gardner school for wayward service droids

• nicholas cage is el nobbo: the world's most moronic dictator

• nicholas cage and friends bring you gaylords of the cannabis cosmos

• nicholas cage stars in no country for cisqueer old men. co-starring a cross dressing tommy lee jones.

• nicholas cage and manfrotto nimbus are the cloud seeders

• nicholas cage steals the show in his bit part as mad king oliver in titus squgwelliver's latest farce: social media advisor to the king

• nicholas cage and tom sizemore star in a motion picture about the love that dare not speak its name: cannibal lover

• nicholas cage and artemis spoolboy team up in the mistaken identity caper the haunted identity kit

• nicholas cage plays a down-on-his luck voice actor who gets in over his head, in laugh track for a snuff film

• nicholas cage plays skatch thorax, in the skeevy hyper-drive pilot. "journey beyond the stars, in a state of ersatz debauchery."

• nicholas cage plays the statues of dead saints in a rocky salvation

• nicholas cage plays bunglark, the jive-talking nazi, in blitzkreig, muthafukka!

• nicholas cage and manderlay von underthing star in incredibly mixed-up creatures that stopped living and became women

• nicholas cage stars as tango mctavish in the uncertain ceo. "plagued by indecision, he brought his company to its knees."

• nicholas cage in his most offensive film yet, cavity search: the musical

• nicholas cage stars as cop nurse. "he's like almost fully qualified to write an rx for crime. just hold on for a min while he gets one from a doctor. and try not to die, mmmkay?"

• nicholas cage is the imitation laoation. "whitewashing has never been so fun."

• nicholas cage, in a film directed by boffin mcnulty: a handbag for algernon

• nicholas cage plays albino detective spooks magoo in the man whose head became a waystation for shrill wastrels

• nicholas cage makes his stage debut as disgraced socialite barrisford wainwright, in eyesore in a tophat

• nicholas cage takes to broadway in love song for a disgraced hvac salesman

• nicholas cage plays acclaimed poet dexter manderlay in the satin-hipped bolero

• in a bold career choice, nicholas cage takes on the role of svatch fenersween, the man whose rare condition forces him to eat all of his meals upon the toilet, submersed inside a submarine 15,000 leagues under the sea

• nicholas cage plays an austrian chanteuse who harbors a dark secret. her bewitching vocal prowess is due to the presence of several large tapeworms, who grow ever hungrier. tagline: "they sing for their supper...you!"

• nicholas cage is the souped-up refuse collector. "meet the hotshit of shit collecting."

• nicholas cage is cannibal rock critic. "he'll eat your band alive."

• nicholas cage, in the tour-de-force of a lifetime: he plays every role in the adventures of the new brady bunch. working title: the cagey bunch.

• nicholas cage plays a homicidal lingerie designer in the devil's playthings.

• nichloas cage tackles his most physical role yet: he plays celine dion's gold-plated toilet in an as-of-yet unnamed project.

• nicholas cage plays john, paul, ringo, and george in the beatles: their life and times

• nicholas cage plays an award-winning muralist who paints only using his own phlegm, in a portrait in throat butter

• nicholas cage plays adolf hitler's missing testical in this fuhrer's nuts!

• what's not to like about nicholas cage's groundbreaking new role? a cop with a grudge and a hooker with a heart of gold team up to take down a serial killer. nicholas cage plays the transgender flourescent light flickering in the interrogation room. from their acclaimed "inanimate series." jim jarmusch and cage are at it again!

• nicholas cage plays the anonymous chopper pilot to every evil genius, but who longs to become an acclaimed topiary artist, in pilot for evil genuises by day, boscage sculptor by night

• nicholas cage plays a transexual solar farmer in off-grid hot stuff

• micholas cage in a stunning supporting role as the creepy guy in the restroom who doesn't say a word: exploding in silence

• nicholas cage in his bravest role yet: he plays a pimple on the ass of an unemployed bus driver: pimpy

• nicholas cage is the off-world traffic cop. "this time, it's impersonal."

• nicholas cage gives a performance of economic virtuosity as a spreadsheet in errol morris's new intellectual thriller, supply-side economics

• nichloas cage plays swinger impressario dandy hotpants in are you gonna be there at the love-in? featuring ryan gosling as the protege.

• nicholas cage stars in vegan cannibal. co-starring gwentyth paltrow as the scientist racing against time to find a cure.

• nicholas cage in the role of a lifetime: he is the lisping gendarme.

• nicholas cage plays famed un general hobgood la peppo in from jurisdictions unknown.

• nicholas cage is the kitten-lipped artisinal whiskey faggot. "portland, beware."

• nicholas cage plays disgraced surrealist detective titus goodlove in shots fired!

• nicholas cage steps out, in his first musical: trenchcoats of the eighties: an appreciation

• nicholas cage in the role he was born to play: shy mime, the bashful mime talk show host. in the premiere episode, shy mime welcomes joaquin phoenix for an animated non-verbal discussion of ant farms.

• nicholas cage goes full ladyboy in the ladyboy or the tiger, a contemporary taiwanese reimagining of the famous tale.

• nicholas cage is the cannibal barista. "he serves the bloodiest mary in town."

• nicholas cage plays a disgraced pigeon with one last shot at redemption, in chikki chikki. directed by ernst von ruffian.

• nicholas cage plays sassy, legless new orleans brothel madame jambalaya applebottom 

• nicholas cage stars in generic revenge fantasy that appeals to impotent american male rage

• toys+ and green zone affiliated entertainment present nicholas cage in civilian in over his head in foreign hotzone who calls upon resevoirs of strength and courage he never knew he had to prevail against forces uknown, at great risk to self, others. co-starring matt damon 2.0 as titus, the amoral arms dealer with shifting allegiances. not to be missed.

• nicholas cage plays the music of philp glass in the lars von trier masterpiece, background music for a charles schwab commercial

• nicholas cage is the satin-hipped bolero. a shocking post-modern detective/bullfighting  movie

• nicholas cage in reads aloud from memoirs of an offworld pantomime manque, by deirdre o'shaunessy 

• nicholas cage is plays the malevolent owner of the posh cosh. "upscale assault for the urbane sophisticate"

• nicholas cage plays a cia officer who breaks wind with kingly disregard in operation windbag

• nicholas cage plays the beard of zz top's guitarist in sharp dressed men

• nicheloas cage plays acclaimed erotic biscuit vender venus hippolito in the oven fapper

• nicholas cage heats up the screen this holiday season, as the absent-minded arms dealer 

• nicholas cage has a non-speaking bit-part role as schoolyard baller #6

• nicholas cage stars in interrogation, interrupted

• abandoned on the oregon trail and rescued by transgender indians who raised him as their own, john 'two doves' nightshade was destined to become the greatest culinary talent the west had ever known: the sioux chef. directed by kevin costner, and, in the role of a lifetime, starring nicholas cage.

• nicholas cage steps out in the uproarious new comedy waiter, there's a dildo in my soup!

• nicholas cage grapples with a conflict of interest when he plays the pacifist samurai

• nicholas cage plays a kleptomaniacal detective in the pez dispenser at the bottom of a dimly lit stairwell

• nicholas cage is the well-behaved cannibal. co-starring harvey keitel. with helen mirren as the dame.

• nicholas cage and drexel ratch are the corporate-sanctioned bad boys. "just how far will they go, in a quasi-legal sense?"

• nicholas cage is dutch knuckles: transgender mafia don 

• nicholas cage steps out in his first broadway musical: take me to your lieder. libretto by acclaimed mashup artist stiggy van blotto.

• nicholas cage plays a dim-witted neurosurgeon in prep the scalpel slowly

• nicholas cage plays an unhinged time-traveling scientist on a quixotic quest to give dinosaurs better tans in time traveller with a tanning bed. co-starring raven la pren. directed by michael stipe  

• nicholas cage courts disaster with a walk-on uncredited part as nambla security guard #3

• in sliders, nick cave plays a screen door installation specialist so timid that he can only do installs when customers are 100 miles away. co-starring courtney von spreckenstein as the sociopathic teen squatter who throws him for a loop. 

• nicholas cage stars as a timid dictator in i was a 98lb quisling

• nicholas cage plays the crayon stuck in gods vagina. featuring zooey deschanel as mary, the kindergarten art teacher who believed, and introducing titus oliver as god. 

• nic cage stars in toasty actuators: the sequel

• nicholas cage plays idiot astronaut stig mcswelter in moron on mars. "houson, we have a problem."

• nichloas cage is horst el montague in the degenerate who came to dinner. "pray he doesn't stay for dessert."

• nicholas cage plays ramsey borg in the paralegic corpse. "this tale's got legs!"

• nicholas cage and botsweiller fitzsimmons are the jazzy naysayers

• nicholas cage shines as transgender u-boat captain gustav schmertz in identity interrogation at 20,00 leagues 

• nicholas cage and festus "two sheets" masterson are the buffalo strokers. "you won't believe how the west was really won."

• in the waning light of a dying empire, one man fought alone: nick cage in the gomorrahan tanning bed attendant. directed by todd haynes.

• nicholas cage is perth palmer: obdurate assassin

• nicholsa cage plays a dendrite implanted on the tip of drexel ratch's penis in dendrite at the edge of tomorrow

• nicholas cage plays thomas edison in the ahistorical bio pic jokes about the human liver

• nicholas cage, in a cohen brothers film: no country for transphobic old men

• nicholas cage plays a maid pushed too far, in inadvertent urine splash

• nicholas cage chews the scenery like nobody's business as pill-popping yogi nig praxil in take two enlightenments and spool me in the morning

• nicholas cage plays high-school guidance counselor whose new mustache gives him powers beyond the scope of imagination, in cthulhu's moustache

• nicholas cage plays bipolar assassin lurch astercanz in of cocktails and nerve gas

• nicholas cage is a seething stormcloud of microaggressions in the uproarious new anti-liberal comedy mister bigot pants

• nicholas cage plays a new york defense attorney with one last shot at redemption in the people vs. isis: a class action lawsuit

• nicholas cage squanders his cultural standing with a non-speaking cameo as uppity negro #7

• nicholas cage tries his hand at comedy in the genius in the jodhpurs

• nicholas cage plays stig turrwelliver, the most flatulent man alive, in careful with that match

• nicholas cage in his most controversial role yet: he plays a sociopathic priest with tourette's in off-world rim jobber

• nicholas cage takes a commercial gamble, in a film by project greenlight finalist chase billingsly: kubrick’s cat. with john cusack as kubrick's terrier and cate blanchett as the dog walker. "cage. cusack. blanchett. kubrick's litter box."

• nicholas cage stars in memoirs of an unvoiced video game sidekick

• nicholas cage is the gooch tickler. "see it, if you must."

• nicholas cage burps his way through his latest role as the aquarium drunkard

• nicholas cage plays a cannibal dance instructor in foxtrot of death

• nicholas cage plays a time travelling professor in the sci-fi mindbender through a spanner, starkly

• nicholas cage is the algerian whiskey priest

• nicholas cage will make you wish you'd never been born in handjob in tangiers

• nicholas cage stars in mister bigot pants goes to washington

• the rustle of fabrics announces the arrival of onanist priest, starring nicholas cage

• nicholas cage is tassles the clown in a most distressing striptease

• nicholas cage in a comedy about hitler’s grandson’s online dating misadventures in contemporary brooklyn, called mein kampf

• nic cage is hot on the trail of the sasquatch of catalina

• nic cage dazzles and perplexes as the semi-nude impressario of redondo beach

• nic cage stars as a conflicted priest in the virgin and the whore

• nic cage drops trou in his new tour de force double role, rosencrantz and guildenstern are semi-nude

• nic cage offends everyone and torpedoes his career in the ersatz afro-sexploitation flick black mamba

• nic cage is the patron saint of hoochie coochie in that sweet talking embarcadero

• nic cage gets in touch with his feminine side as the jazz tartlet 

• nic cage stars in a heavy metal remake of blame it on rio called blame it on ronnie james dio

• nic cage plays a loose cannon fbi agent hot on the trail of a russian fecal sleeper cell. triggered to defecate in public at an unknown time.

• nic cage stars in the mind bending sci-fi hit semi-nude man with cloaking device

• nic cage makes his london stage debut in the devastatingly poignant classic, semi-nude homeless man eating ice cream: a tragic comedy in two acts

• nicholas cage stars as a time-travelling nudist in a nipple in time

• nic cage stars in requiem for a baller

• there's something extra in the air tonight. nic cage stars in the body horror film catheter.

• nic cage plays titan nostromo, the hi-fi salesman who communciates only via a series of high-pitched clicking sounds

• nic cage stars in flight of the pederast

• nic cage goes off-reservation as native american surrealist jeronimo duchamp 

• nic cage plays a lifeguard beset with problems in the gonzo comedy stool in the pool

• nic cage makes a quick buck doing asian porn in double onanist fu shoo surprise: four star spicy edition

• nic cage makes his debut as a playwright in flatulent divorcee from the bronx: a play in two acts
  "devastating"
  -the daily cuckold

• nic cage plays a shell-shocked detective hot on the trail of an aerial yoga female serial killer

• nic cage stars with missy elliot and kyle mclaughlin in fire, twerk with me

• nic cage stars in the double exploitation grindhouse feature the ventriloquist's wife

• nic cage stars in incident on a park bench

• nic cage tries his hand at comedy in the genius in the jodhpurs

• nic cage is the mansplaining gynecologist

• nic cage is unleashed in dustup in the food court

• nic cage stars in the cold war brodude classic the douchebag who came in from the cold

• nic cage is lighthouse keeper reggy "toffee trousers" herringbone in under the light of a gibbous moon

• nic cage defies convention as darnel shuckchucker in angry barking cyst

• nic cage is the boy who leaked ectoplasmic white goo from ears and mouth

• nic cage and danny devito star in throw momma from the peloton

• nic cage stars in the butthurt locker, about grown men who are still sore from slights suffered in high school

• nic cage stars as a malicious fitness guru in the abdominal doctor phibes

• nic cage grumbles his way through old man waffle pants

• nic cage plays a tyrannical fashion editor for the minimum wage demographic in the devil wears tj maxx

• nic cage soils a cherished children’s literary tradition in encyclopedia brown and the fistfuck caper

• nic cage is the vituperative viscount of verona

• nic cage stars as a kinked-up garrison keillor in a prairie homoerotic companion

• head on a plate productions presents nic cage as detective frank puddingtwat in the case of the hornet's nest pinata